Sunday, 27 March 2011

Accepting the inevitable...Humans Change!

The one thing you can count on in a human being is his or her ability to change. It is not ironic its a fact. We change in every single way imaginable. Superficially we change our hairstyles, make-up, clothes, shoes etc. Physically we grow as per our genetic make up, emotionally and mentally we constantly alter our perceptions, thoughts and are ability to deal and handle situations.

We actually have the potential to change in every second of every day as we process millions of thoughts through our mind, which produce numerous emotional and psychological changes. Those in turn trigger our nervous system which causes the release of hormones and other physical bodily reactions. In this way our physical state also probably unknown to us to some extend does change constantly too.

There are a few things which we can't change and one is the fact that we need to grow out of many things in life due to the fact that we are constantly changing. Shoes, clothes, hairstyles, mobile phones, computers etc all get replaced by newer ones due to many variable factors like fashion, affordability, technological advances etc. we seem to go pretty much as they say with the flow on those superficial things.

One of the saddest things to grow out of is not our sexy youthful bodies or our even our hopes and dreams, it is to outgrow our friends and lovers. One of the hardest things to accept in life is the end of a relationship that one thought would last forever. No matter how bad things get we try to focus on past happiness and keep the relationship there. So many people have friends they have absolutely nothing in common with, or are even downright embarrassed to be seen in public with as their behaviour and attitudes are so contrary. Yet one still plods on like a martyr in the relationship as they just cannot bear to let go. The memory of old loves and fun times are so etched in their memories that they just cannot let go.

The very same is applicable to certain couples who have been in relationships for a very long time. Everyone knows those couples, they exist universally, they never have anything much to say to each other and they at times even seem to loath each other but they just cant let go of each other and are simply tied down by their inability to face the future alone and their partnership is nothing but a crutch to get through life in the safety of a witness to their existence. Such people do not live but live survive like two people shipwrecked onto a raft in a deep and dangerous ocean.

"But why? We were so in love!" is the most common question asked when one is stuck in such a relationship. Oddly enough the reason for this is usually is not "my partner got fat and ugly" or "I am not sexually attracted to my partner" or even "my partner cheated on me", all those things can be remedied and fixed to some extent. What is irreconcilable are changes that result due to life experiences, which in turn affect one's mental and emotional make-up or one's change in attitude to one's spiritual path. In a relationship any if one person progresses or regresses emotionally, mentally or spiritually it will be very difficult for the relationship to stay intact as is known to both partners.

What keeps most relationships intact is when partners change together whether they progress or regress it is done together. It is indeed an outstanding relationship if two people have drifted in their emotions, thoughts and spiritual beliefs and remain "genuinely" together and have a "real" relationship not one for their children or any other reason involving a third party or societal pretences.

Another thing that humans find hard to accept is change from life to death. It is an irrefutable part of life that we will die one day or another. When you live in fear of death all the time why bother to live! You wont live you will waste your entire life waiting for death. Death is a progression into the subtler form. It is like going up a grade or a level in a video game. All you do is drop your physical form like a pile of old clothes that is the only thing you part with. What is left of you will be your best, your personality, character and your true being. If you spend your entire time in your physical form warding off death what you tend to do is warp your personality character and true being thereby failing to achieve all you must in your lifetime. You can't avoid death but you can make the most of your life even if you have one breath left make it count.

1 comment: