Friday, 4 March 2011

What is Love - A critical evaluation

February 14th is a day that instigates people into states of emotion that I classify in two ways. The first which for that specific day may seem positive I term as 'drama'. The second emotional reaction to the day is "grave trauma" and seems to affect all those not actively involved in the drama.

The "dramatists" are those who feel obligated to make efforts to buy cards, gifts and plan romantic dinners to prove to their partners that they appreciate them adequately and love them absolutely as per the guidelines set by mass media. The "traumatised" are those without partners or those neglected by their partners who spew forth feelings of "unloved", "alone", "unworthy", "depressed". Then there is the lot that feels they have not been appreciated enough as their generous overtures have been rejected or have not been able to live upto the expectations of their partner or those who feel their partner failed to live upto their expectations.

Now all this trauma triggers of an entirely different twist to the "commercial activity post valentines day" when psychologists, psychiatrists, councellors, therapists etc are retained for months to mend broken hearts and spirites.

Its quite funny actually that a day with no real connection or significance to anything has gained so much importance. Even the Vatican has clarified in 1968 by removing the feast day of saint Valentine, as the only corellation they could find between any Saint Valentine (they have accepted a few by that name) and 14 February is that is the date that one of the Saint's called valentine was buried. WHat is even more interesting is to quote the Vatican "...since, apart from his name, nothing is known of Saint Valentine except that he was buried on the Via Flaminia on February 14."

So why does Valentines day have the power to generate such intense human emotion? quite simply because we have allowed it to become what it is. The fact that we are bombarded by express and subliminal messages continually about "Love" does not help as this is in reality a very powerful human emotion.

Love is the foundation of our being. Every human being loves and is loved. Every single human has the ability to love. Animals too can love but humans a special ability as they can connect with God/the Divine/ The Supreme/ Mother Nature etc. and that is said to be the highest form of love. That higher love trickles down into our very being and we share this love with all.

We have love for those we are related to for which there is a scientific and psychological basis. We are also capable of love for those we are not related to such as our friends as they through words and actions have endeared themselves to us. We feel love for our pets, plants and even our profession's, ability to do certain acts and our physical/material posessions. Why should be ashamed of admitting to love houses, cars, clothes, shoes etc.

We are even capable of feeling love for complete strangers be it some people suffering the brunt of a natural disaster, an accident or terrorist attack across the world, a child begging at yoru car window, an actor or singer, an admired sports personality, a sexy model, a hallowed prophet or saint, historical personalities, a cute baby in a diaper advertisement and so on.

At times we can even love fictional characters like cartoons, characters from movies and TV serials. At times great love is felt for the entire earth we have all felt this when we have seen a great sunset, a rainbow, a starry night or even on a sunny day when we have looked up into the sky. The ability to love is infinite there is no end to what we can feel love for. We are born to love its in our energetic make-up.

Love is an energy the more we love we are loved. We are always loved. Every single religion preaches God's love for us. We are also told of angels, fairies, nature spirits and other beings which surround us all the time and shower us with love and protection. Everyone has at a certain time of their life had the one near horrifying accident where they would have been knocked down by a speeding car, or drowned in an unexpectedly ferocious wave, or fallen down the stairs but for something inexplicable that held them back at the last second and saved them. How does one explain that if not by some form of divine intervention or assistence from an invisible being.

If you want to think you are alone you can, if you want to feel unloved you will but if you make that little effort to be a bit consious and aware you will feel the unseen and never experience 'alone'. Every known religion states that there are always higher invisible and even at times visible beings and creatures about you all you need to do is feel them and ask for them to let their presence be felt to you.

Where love goes wrong most of the time is confusion in the feelings of "love" blended with our human need for a "partner" for the purposes of sex. We need to acknowledge that we are conditioned to expect all encompassing love from our sexual partner. Love and sex are a combination that are not exclusive to one another.

Until the Victorian era most of the world was good to have sex to procreate and enjoy sexual urges. It so happened that what became the social "norm" in England was imposed on their entire Empire as appropriate and this set off a whole chain of events to alter the course of sex and its expression. Love was the accepted emotion and sex something unmentionable. It began to get infered with time that sex was exclusive to love if it was to be in a acceptable form and then somewhere down the line things got so convoluted that even references to sex were always partnered with love, as can be noted from the term "making love".

The true essence of love, divine love in sex was lost through the ages to the common man. The importance of sex is its ability to be the easiest way to connect with the Divine. This is because the 'Kundalini' or fire energy which is within us all gets activated and during the act o sex and reaches its pinnacle during the state of orgasm. Saints and sages meditate for years to reach that same level of connection which they define as "Samadhi" or the ultimate connection with the divine. It is just as simple as God gave us an easy means to connect with him he did not deprive those who were not meant to devote their entire being to him of that deep spiritual experience. A sign of Gods divine love for us another kind of love that is neither accepted or acknowledged.

It is due to this that sex has always been dealt with in spiritual scriptures as sacred. However its quite ironic that it is not a marriage that makes sex sacred but the sex that makes the marriage sacred. In order to experience the sacredness or "Samadhi" it makes common sense that one must like ones partner and feel respect for ones partner. All of which leads to trusting one's partner without which it would not be possible to experience the ability to leave body consiousness from the act of sex and going beyond into the realm of an inexplicable spiritual experience.

The reason why we tend to feel a deep emotional attachment and a lot of love for our sexual partner is simply the fact that we are bathed in the bliss of divine love which we tend to relate as caused by our sexual partner. We also have so much divine energy within us that it is pretty impossible to feel anything but love a that time.

We really have no problems with love or finding it or giving it to others. Our problems all arise from the mental modifications from our social interaction with books, movies and all the subliminal messages we are bombarded with everyday by the mass media.

Do not let anyone or anything tell you what love is. Gauge it by what you feel within. Love is many things but not an act of giving or receiving flowers, chocolates, jewellery or any other gifts or a fancy dinner just because a calendar says its 14 February. Love just is within everything and everyone. Every act we perform is capable of being an act of love. Every relationship we forge is capable of being love. The ability to give and receive love is there. The choice is ours we choose to give and receive it.


  1. You are very right in saying so. Love is a state of being which very few understand. People confuse love with attachments and insecure emotions. Love is just love there is no begining there is no end and hope someday we can all reach that state of being

  2. Awesome post .very well said. but its true that expectations go high and hence all the pain associated with love.

  3. Lovely thoughts and very well expressed, Ash!